Positive Pause – 29th August, 2016 – The Lightness of Tears

lightness of tearsGo with your emotion. Lightness of tears

Have you ever been struck by a strong emotion which has caught you completely  unawares? On Friday of last week I was happily packing , cleaning and preparing for our imminent departure from France back to Ireland when, all of a sudden as I glanced at my son playing with his toy cars (something he now rarely does) in his small bedroom, I was  overwhelmed with tears.

France really is a second home to me; eight years ago when my son, Luca was just six months old we bought a small village house that needed total renovation.  We have evolved as a family, spending all our holidays over the years in this house and each nook and cranny contains a little bit of our hearts.

Luca’s room is tiny and an adult can’t stand up straight in it. Until this year it has suited him fine but he is now getting so big that will soon bang his head off the beams.  It struck me like lightening as I was cleaning that he wouldn’t play in that room again and that we were reaching the end of an era.  A sudden wave of nostalgia and sadness came over me.

This week and every week, when you have a strong emotion, no matter what the circumstances please let yourself feel it and go through it rather than trying to suppress it. The cathartic feeling of letting yourself cry is not a weakness but a strength.

After my cry I realised it was not sadness but a form of muted joy and gratitude in disguise for all we have. The ability to allow ourselves the passing of life’s phases ironically  allows us to be fully  present in the moment. The tears allowed me to show appreciation of all the wonderful memories that we have and all the wonderful ones that are yet to come.

Please also take a moment this week (if you haven’t already) to send love and compassion to all the victims of the Italian earthquake.

If you have enjoyed this Positive Pause you might appreciate my online, self-help programme, The Positive Habit which is gaining five star ratings from those who have completed the course. Lightness of tears

Positive Pause – 22nd August, 2016 – At Least

Eggs ResizedI believe in the phrase “ at least ”.

We were in the car on our way to stay in a remote holiday home in the Catalonian countryside when we realised that we had been so busy living “in the moment” we had forgotten to bring adequate provisions for dinner; we had ‘some’ food but not really enough. My optimistically programmed husband said, “at least we have some eggs.” How true! “At least” is a phrase that we could all probably do with using more often.  It is in an indirect way of being grateful for what we do have rather than being concerned with what we don’t.

This week, if you find yourself complaining about some less than satisfactory aspect of your life, or if you have made a small mistake, or if you have forgotten something, please try using the phrase “at least”   You will quickly realise that you have ‘more’ than you may realise and there is nothing “at least” about it.  By focussing on the positive aspect of any situation you send a message to your subconscious that will enable you to gain greater joy, happiness and peace.

Please read the 5 star reviews that my online program, The Positive Habit is receiving from those who have completed the course.

Positive Pause – 15th August, 2016 – Draw Away Your Fear

draw away your fearRecently I created the opportunity for myself to attend a sketching class. I haven’t done anything like this since I was at school and, to be honest, I was like many others in the class who thought that they couldn’t actually draw! I must admit that I am one of many who suffer with limited belief in my talent  when it comes to creating visual art. Usually memories of doing art at school come flooding back and the teachers who did their best to inspire. Draw away your fear
The art teacher who took the sketching class recently however must have been trained in positive psychology because she started off by saying, “forget your fear or limited beliefs, leave them at the door, you can do this, it’s lines on a piece of paper.” The way she spoke resonated with me and I decided to go with her advice.
She allowed only pens to be used so that we couldn’t try to start again; this was a wonderful way of encouraging spontaneous drawing and letting go of ideas of perfection.  She then pointed out something I do already know – that perfection does not exist.
We were asked to draw  flowers in a plant pot and I along with the rest of the class entered the state known as ‘flow’ where all my attention was absorbed on what I was doing.  This is a very creative and therapeutic  state where time becomes totally unimportant and everything is focussed on the task at hand.
This week, if you have the chance, take this teacher’s advice and  leave any fear or self-doubt at the door where it belongs. Believe in your talent to achieve success in whatever endeavour you are engaged in. My sketch may not be a masterpiece  but it’s better than I thought  it would be and all because I opened my mind and let go off negative thought patterns.  In the words of  Thomas Edison, “if we did all we are capable of we would literally astound ourselves.”  A few more art classes and who knows what’s possible…!
Please read the 5 star reviews that my online program, The Positive Habit is receiving from those who have completed the course.

A Lust for Life – Thriving – August 2016

The Positive Habit on A Lust for LifeFiona Brennan on alustforlife.com discusses the reason why so many of us are many of us living stressed lives, rather than thriving.

Until the birth of the Positive Psychology movement, most psychologists concerned themselves with fixing unhappiness, anxiety, stress and depression.  By contrast, the basic premise of Positive Psychology is to reach beyond a normal state (where we feel we are merely coping or just plodding along) and to tap into our ability to flourish. In other words, to go beyond survivingto a state of thriving. Read more

Positive Pause – 8th August, 2016 – Acceptance

acceptance“Wherever you are, be there totally.” Eckhart Tolle Acceptance

This week, bring your attention to each and every precious moment. If you find yourself resisting the moment for whatever reason – if you are bored waiting in traffic, fed up with the weather or even if somebody is irritating you, ask yourself, can I change this moment? If the answer is no then accept it just the way it is. If the answer is yes then you can change it, but instead of complaining (which is an automatic stress response) either speak out in a positive way or simply leave the space.

Inner peace comes from acceptance as opposed to resistance. When we take away inner conflict and the busy traffic of our thoughts we have a chance to be fully present and to allow the best part of us to shine.

Please read the 5 star reviews that my online program, The Positive Habit is receiving.