The Positive Habit Weekly Blog – 30th April, 2018 – the Story of Things

The Positive Habit Weekly Blog – 30th April, 2018 – the Story of Things

Dear Positive Habit People,

During the week I was in the bedroom of the 12-year-old daughter of one of my very good friends and I noticed these tiny dolls clothes that had been framed into three lovely pictures that hung on the wall.  When I asked my friend about their origin, she told me that her grandmother had made them for her dolls when she was a little girl. She had always treasured them and wanted her daughter to do the same, so for posterity, she framed them. Many years ago my mother did a similar thing and made me a toy dog from patches of old dresses she had made and no longer wore. Every time she looked at the toy dog she was reminded of the dresses and all of the memories associated with them.

I just love this, it is so ‘hygee‘, a Danish word that has no exact translation in English. This brings me to, ‘The Little Book of Hygee – The Danish way to Live Well,’ a book I have been dipping in and out of all week and can highly recommend as a way of injecting some simple, positive vibes into your life. One of hygee’s main principles is to connect with friends in an informal way, finding cosy spots in your life to enjoy the comforts of a warm blanket, a cup of tea and a good old natter.

The hygee manifesto, as outlined in the picture above, sums up both my friend’s lovely dolls’ clothes and my mum’s patchwork dog; both have a story to tell of loved ones and memories and remind us of what is truly important in life – the people we love and their stories.

“Hygge is about an atmosphere and an experience,” Wiking, the author explains, “it is about being with the people we love. A feeling of home. A feeling that we are safe.”

You know hygge when you feel it.

Have a lovely week and remember to spread some ‘hygge” by sharing this blog post.

Please watch my latest video: “The Positive Habit, Stress-Free, Anxiety-Free, Week Thirteen – The Ark Technique for dealing with negative thoughts and anxiety.”

I’m happy to report that these videos are really helping people so please do share with anyone you feel may benefit from some extra love and care.

The Positive Habit – Anxiety-Free, Stress-Free – Week 13

 

“The Ark Technique for dealing with negative thoughts and anxiety.”

The story of things

Social Anxiety affects 16.8% of Irish people. Social media is a place where people judge and compare themselves to others.

The Positive Habit self-therapy program builds true inner confidence and helps people to feel calm in any social situation whether at work or with friends.

This program helps people to face the world, both virtual and physical, with true self-belief. It takes 66 days and costs €99.95 – a small investment in time and money given the true benefits it delivers.

Please take the Anxiety Test

To register for a 30-day, risk free, trial please click below. 30 Day Money Back Guarantee – 6 Months Access.

If you are in financial difficulties then please consider the bursary scheme. Our goal to help as many people as we can to feel calm,confident and in control.

The Positive Habit Weekly Blog – 23rd April, 2018 – Sunshine

The Positive Habit Weekly Blog – 23rd April, 2018 – Sunshine

Dear Positive Habit People,

On Thursday afternoon, I cycled through St Stephen’s Green in central Dublin and could feel a tangible joy in the air; people were smiling, laughing and full of life. The citizens of Dublin were finally getting some all-important vitamin D! People were stretched out everywhere and literally soaking up the sun in as if they had never seen it before.

It has been a long winter, I don’t think anyone would argue with that.  It’s not long ago our country came to halt as it was inches deep in snow and ice. It would appear that climate change has made the weather more unpredictable now than ever.  If you compare the weather to your moods you will see that they also change, sometimes dramatically and at other times less so.

Amongst other things, developing the positive habit is about finding and maintaining your “inner sunshine” and not that which is dependent on external circumstances. The sun certainly makes everything easier; people emerge from hibernation and the world literally becomes brighter. However, it is important to remember that we need the power of contrast to be truly grateful for what we have. Think of work and rest, thirst and water, sun and snow!

If you have moments of sadness, anxiety or worry this week, give yourself time to let it pass and remember your inner sun which shines bright if you let it. The mpre compassionate you are to yourself in dealing with negative emotions the better you will deal with them and your sun will truly shine.

Have a lovely week and remember to spread some positive sunshine to anyone you can by sharing this blog post.

Please watch my latest video: “The Positive Habit, Stress-Free, Anxiety-Free, Week Twelve  “Turn Your Inner Critic into Your Inner Companion.”

I’m happy to report that these videos are really helping people so please do share with anyone you feel may benefit from some extra love, care and sunshine.

If you missed my regular slot  on ‘Mind Yourself Now’ with the uber positive Dermot & Dave (Today FM) last Monday you can hear the podcast here.

The Positive Habit – Anxiety-Free, Stress-Free – Week 12

“Turn Your Inner Critic Into Your Inner Companion”

sunshine
sunshine

Social Anxiety affects 16.8% of Irish people. Social media is a place where people judge and compare themselves to others.

The Positive Habit self-therapy program builds true inner confidence and helps people to feel calm in any social situation whether at work or with friends.

This program helps people to face the world, both virtual and physical, with true self-belief. It takes 66 days and costs €99.95 – a small investment in time and money given the true benefits it delivers.

Please take the Anxiety Test

To register for a 30-day, risk free, trial please click below. 30 Day Money Back Guarantee – 6 Months Access.

If you are in financial difficulties then please consider the bursary scheme. Our goal to help as many people as we can to feel calm,confident and in control.

A Lust for Life – April 2018 – Social Anxiety

The Positive Habit on A Lust for Life

Social anxiety affects an estimated 16.8% of Irish people according to Social Anxiety Ireland. In my work, I see many clients who suffer from social anxiety. Often they appear to be ‘on the outside’, the most confident of people – yet they are crippled with the fear of ‘What will other people think?’

It is one of the most common phrases that I hear from all ages young to old, men and women. It could be a businesswoman with her own family, or a young guy just starting out in life. The outwardly confident clients that seem to have it all and by all accounts are ‘successful’ in the material world, in their work and social status can be crumbling behind the façade of a fake confidence. That is not to say you have to be seen as successful to experience social anxiety, but only to illustrate how it can affect even those we believe to be uber-confident….read more

The Positive Habit Weekly Blog – 16th April, 2018 – Share Your Shame

The Positive Habit Weekly Blog – 16th April, 2018 – Share Your Shame

Dear Positive Habit People,

I have a confession to make! When I was seven years old I stole two fancy erasers from a friend of my parents. I then carried the shame and guilt of this around for months until one day my Dad asked me what was bothering me and I confessed my ‘terrible’ crime with the drama of someone who has committed murder. I have never forgotten the relief I felt when he told me that it was okay, that many children steal small things and that I was not a ‘bad person’ because of it.

Shame, is something that we all experience on one level or another at some point in our lives. The sooner we get a handle on it the better because shame is toxic, erodes self-esteem and keeps us blocked and locked in a spiral of negativity.

Most of the actions about which we feel shame are not deserving of such a strong, negative emotion. Now, while I do believe in having healthy remorse for when we behave without compassion, many of us carry around shameful feelings unnecessarily for things that we have no need to feel shame over: the way a mother, father or child has behaved; if we don’t know the answer to a question; if we forget someone’s birthday; for not being a ‘perfect’ parent or not having a ‘perfect’ house. We can also feel shame for our social status, for not having children, for being single, for not being able to afford something and the list goes on and on.

This week I’ve been reading the bestselling book, ‘Daring Greatly’, by Brene Brown, a researcher and writer famous for her work on vulnerability and shame.  The book highlights how shame isolates us from others and prevents us form making authentic connections. Brown believes that the only way to deal with shame is to name it, to take it out of the dark and into the light and writes,

“If we share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can’t survive.”

The very act of naming and speaking about shame kills it softly.

To return to my rubber-robbing incident, let’s make it clear that am not condoning stealing in any shape or form; if we do something wrong we should suffer the consequences. However, it must be recognised that we are human and make mistakes. In the words of my father, “the important thing is that we learn from them,”  which I agree is such a ‘parent’ thing to say and I now find myself echoing those very same words to my son!.

Reflect on your own life and see if you can recall a similar experience when you really felt shame. Did you open up to someone and if so did the shame pass?

The healing process of putting gratuitous shame where it belongs allows you to move with grace and goodness through your life.

Have a lovely week and remember to open your heart and mind to anyone you think may be experiencing shame. You can be the person who offers the empathy and love they need.

Please watch my latest video: “The Positive Habit, Stress-Free, Anxiety-Free, Week  Eleven,  “Self-Love is Selfless”

* Thanks for all the great feedback on the buzzing bee technique video last week and just to clarify, you need to put your thumbs into your ears as the idea is to block out any external noise.

I’m happy to report that these videos are really helping people so please do share with anyone you feel may benefit from some extra love and care.

I’ll be discussing social media anxiety on my regular, ‘Mind Yourself Now’ slot on The Dermot & Dave show (Today FM) this morning (Monday, 16th April) at 10.15.am so please tune in. If you miss it don’t worry – I’ll podcast it here next week.

The Positive Habit – Anxiety-Free, Stress-Free – Week 11

“Self-Love is Selfless.”

Share your shame
Share your shame

A big thanks to Professor Patrick Flood for inviting me to speak to his HR Masters students.

“Fiona Brennan is an outstanding speaker on the topic of positive well being as well as an acclaimed clinical hypnotherapist. She presented to a large group of HR managers at DCU (11th April, 2018) on the MSc in HR Strategy with great skill, humour and insight. I strongly recommend her for speaking and teaching engagements- if you need inspiration and empathy – Fiona will provide it!”

Share your shame

Social Anxiety affects 16.8% of Irish people. Social media is a place where people judge and compare themselves to others.

The Positive Habit self-therapy program builds true inner confidence and helps people to feel calm in any social situation whether at work or with friends.

This program helps people to face the world, both virtual and physical, with true self-belief. It takes 66 days and costs €99.95 – a small investment in time and money given the true benefits it delivers.

Please take the Anxiety Test

To register for a 30-day, risk free, trial please click below. 30 Day Money Back Guarantee – 6 Months Access.

If you are in financial difficulties then please consider the bursary scheme. Our goal to help as many people as we can to feel calm,confident and in control.

The Positive Habit Weekly Blog – 9th April, 2018 – the Black Dog Spells Self-Doubt

The Positive Habit Weekly Blog – 9th April, 2018 – the Black Dog Spells Self-Doubt

Dear Positive Habit People,

One morning last week, when I was on holiday in France, I went for a run which took me down a small country lane. It was a bright morning, the birds were singing and it was so peaceful and serene.  Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a black dog. I froze and the serenity quickly slipped away leaving my heart pounding. I had entered survival mode.

Now, I’ve always LOVED dogs but many years ago I was bitten from behind on the ankle by a black dog and if I close my eyes I can still feel its teeth on my bone. My immediate instinct was to turn around and run as fast as I could but what if it chased me? It would surely win. So, with a LOT of calming deep breaths I ventured forward. The black dog looked a lot less scary as I approached it, in fact, it was pretty cute. It even wagged its tail and came up to greet me. Although my heart was still pounding I asked myself what had I been so afraid of?

Negative experiences that we believe threaten our survival are etched into our subconscious minds. The way I had reacted wasn’t therefore silly or dramatic on a primal level; once bitten, twice shy can be very a valuable lesson. However,  on a conscious level, it made no sense whatsoever as the dog was small, friendly and caused me no harm. I  had doubted myself, my ability to cope at that moment and had thought the worst of the innocent dog;  as with anxiety I was catastrophising.

We all have moments of self-doubt when we question our ability to contribute meaningfully to our families, our work and to the world. 

Those doubts are like the black dog, they seem so much more frightening than they really are and when we turn with courage towards them they soften.

This week, If you have any feelings of self-doubt, breathe deeply (it works), face the doubts with courage and compassion and then slowly watch them dissolve.

Please watch my latest video: “The Positive Habit, Stress-Free, Anxiety-Free, Week  Ten,  2 Minutes to Feel Calm, The Buzzing Bee Technique.”

I’m happy to report that these videos are really helping people so please do share with anyone you feel may benefit from some extra love and care.

The Positive Habit – Anxiety-Free, Stress-Free – Week 10

“2 Minutes to Feel Calm, the Buzzing Bee Technique”

black dog

Social Anxiety affects 16.8% of Irish people. Social media is a place where people judge and compare themselves to others.

The Positive Habit self-therapy program builds true inner confidence and helps people to feel calm in any social situation whether at work or with friends.

This program helps people to face the world, both virtual and physical, with true self-belief. It takes 66 days and costs €99.95 – a small investment in time and money given the true benefits it delivers.

Please take the Anxiety Test

To register for a 30-day, risk free, trial please click below. 30 Day Money Back Guarantee – 6 Months Access.

If you are in financial difficulties then please consider the bursary scheme. Our goal to help as many people as we can to feel calm,confident and in control.