Positive Pause – 14th November, 2016 – Awareness and Nightmares
This week the world needs as much positivity as it can get: is seems almost unbelievable that Donald Trump is in power. The less said the better…awareness and nightmaresInstead, I prefer to turn my attention to the passing of Leonard Cohen. Death is always sad, but in this case, we have much to celebrate – Cohen has left a wealth of music, poetry, and inspirational quotes for the world to enjoy. Before his career in music, he dedicated himself to writing, mainly poetry and lived a semi-reclusive life on the Greek island of Hydra. The world should be thankful that, due to a lack of financial success, he came out of his shell to pursue a career as a singer-songwriter. A clear example here of every cloud having a silver lining. Cohen lived his life to the full and released his fourteenth album only last month at the age of 82, writing and creating right up to the end of his life.
This week, the political events in the USA must have crawled into my subconscious because, despite my best efforts to remain positive, I had a number of nightmares. If you are the type of person who remembers your dreams, you will know how disturbing a nightmare can be. Symptoms can include hot sweats, panic and overwhelming fear. When I was younger I used to get quite upset whenever I had a nightmare and saw it as a sign that my mental health was not good. However, I now choose to embrace these disturbing dreams as a necessary part of my mental well-being. The nightmare is a mechanism whereby the subconscious mind deals with anything that the conscious mind has not done during your waking hours. Thank you subconscious mind! My subconscious seems to be particularly suggestible which is why I have to be careful about the information and experiences that I expose myself to. If you think of children and how impressionable they are, you can begin to see how your subconscious mind works. awareness and nightmares
On Friday morning I had the chance to impress 200 young minds by giving a short talk on mindfulness to Luca’s school assembly. I explained to the children aged from 4-12 that they have a choice in how they wish to feel, think and behave and that this choice lies in their ability to be aware. I sincerely believe that this is a message that needs to be sung from the rooftops or at least taught in every school and not just once, but every day.
One of my favourite Leonard Cohen quotes is,
“Act the way you’d like to be and soon you’ll be the way you act.”
Awareness is the greatest gift of the conscious mind and is what separates us from most of the animal kingdom. Choosing to use your awareness to shape your own life will allow you to rise above all the fear in the world that is created by just the opposite, a lack of awareness. Just like Cohen, you have the choice to be brave and to bring out the best in you today and everyday, no matter what is going on around you. And don’t worry about having nightmares – your subconscious is dealing with it! awareness and nightmares
Positive Pause – 7th November, 2016 – 3 Things We Must Do Every Morning
3 things we must do every morning. Many of us say that life is either good or bad to us. The statement, “I hope life is treating you well” is an example of this. However, the real question that I ask this week is this: “Are you treating life well?By looking at life from the perspective that we have an active role in how “good” or “bad” our life has been, we start to feel a sense of empowerment rather than of victimisation. That is not to say that we don’t all meet challenges along the way. Victor Frankl, the Jewish psychiatrist who survived Auschwitz and was exposed to the most adverse of conditions said: 3 things we must do every morning
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning
Following on from my Positive Pause last week about Carpe Diem, spontaneity, seizing the day and making the most of our lives, I just had to share the video below with you. Sadhguru is an Indian spiritual Yogi leader and a man of many talents. He studied English literature in his youth and has inspired hundreds of thousands of people to live their lives to their fullest potential. One of his famous quotes is:
“If you choose, you can be joyful every moment of your life. It’s time you made your choice.”Sadhguru
This week, I welcomed the opportunity that mid-term can give us to come off the merry-go-round of school runs, activities and also juggling full-time work and instead to be able to spend time with my family and friends, to watch movies, read books and generally just be. I even found myself knitting- something I haven’t done for probably 30 years! I found it a very therapeutic activity and it connected me back to the 10-year-old who loved to create new things. I remember a jumper that I knitted that was hilariously misshapen and yet I was so proud of it.
We all need to slow down a little sometimes so that we can build a reserve of physical and mental energy for when life picks up again. Maintaining that slow pace and connecting with it no matter what mayhem is going on outside is a skill worth cultivating.
Many of us search for things that will give us clear instructions on how we can be truly happy and attain the sense of joy that Sadhguru refers to in the above quote. In the video entitled “3 Things We Must Do Every Morning” he captures this concept very succinctly.
I am now making a mental note to choose to treat my life well in the coming week. What choice will you make? I hope you enjoy the video – it really does but things into perspective.
Positive Pause – 31st October, 2016 – Spontaneous Thursday!
In the midst of a busy life of dealing with our many responsibilities, it can be hard to connect to that part of you that knows what it’s like to be carefree and has a desire to focus only on fun, playing and laughing.
When I think back to myself as a child, teenager, and young adult I was literally up for anything at the drop of a hat; if there was a party or an opportunity to go on a sleepover or if there was an impromptu gathering of any kind I always grabbed it with both hands. It’s possible that you were the same and would have been more likely to embrace spontaneity in your life when you were younger. Unplanned occasions are often the best and most memorable. spontaneous thursday
When we become adults it usually becomes harder to find that spontaneity especially if we are tired from long hours at work, family responsibilities or if we are dealing with stress or personal issues. Our lives can become a strict routine with little leeway for us to deviate from the things we need to do.
Last Thursday, I had the joy of being invited not to one but to two impromptu gatherings that literally did come out of the blue. The first was through one of Luca’s pals – his lovely Brazilian minder decided to make a Halloween cake and have a few of the kids from his class over. I had planned on the normal hockey pick-up followed by homework so was delighted to have an excuse to break the routine. The second was from one of my very good friends who texted me at lunchtime to say “I know it’s a bit fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants but are you free for supper tonight?” This friend of mine is one of those people we all need in our lives; she is a positive beacon of light and embraces all that life has to offer. She had decided to start a supper club gathering of people she doesn’t know very well in order to get to know them better. All of a sudden, my Thursday was looking a hell of a lot more fun than I had thought it would be! I felt that giddy child in me being reawakened and I welcomed both opportunities to connect to that part of me that definitely needs more air-time.
If you get a chance to create or bring spontaneity into your life, please do! Often it is the most important things in our lives that we leave till last on our long to-do lists; seeing friends, spending time with family and just having a good old belly laugh is therapy for the soul. That is not to say we should ignore our responsibilities, but instead to find a balance to make sure that they don’t become all we give our precious attention to. Regret is an extremely hard pill to swallow and one of the five top regrets of the dying is “I wish I had let myself be happier.” Let’s work together to make sure that doesn’t happen to us! Enjoy your bank holiday Monday – the perfect chance for spontaneity.
Positive Pause – 24th October, 2016 – Live, don’t just exist
“To live is the rarest thing, most people exist, that is all”Oscar Wilde
This week for me has been a mix of low lights and high lights as life often is. However, I believe that seeing the positive in the low lights is what keeps us from just existing and brings us into the realms of thriving. Live, don’t just exist
On Monday, returning from the school pick up, I experienced what I saw at that moment as a major ‘low light’ of the week. Luca, my 8 year old son fell off his bike directly into oncoming traffic! It was quite an experience as I was cycling in front of him and saw it happen out of the corner of my eye. A mother’s instinct is strong and at times like this, the survival instinct kicks in – the only thing on my mind was to save my son. I moved so fast that it felt surreal; I threw my own bike on the ground (although I have no memory of doing so), let go of the lead of our beloved dog Rosie and ran into the traffic and roared “STOP!” Thankfully the oncoming car did and amazingly nobody was hurt – even Rosie who had followed me out onto the road came out of it all with her tail wagging.
The ‘highlight’ of the week saw me return to Paris for an important family celebration; the launch of a beautiful book my dad has written of poems. Ironically, the title of the book is “Dancing with Luck.” Paris is a city that is filled with memories and connections for me; I lived there at age 19 for a few months as well as getting engaged and married there.
The apartment my family rented happened to be very close to where I had lived in as a jeune fille au pair 21 years ago. Then, I had my own petit studio and on this trip I went back to see it. Incredibly my subconscious mind seemed to know the way there after all this time. Memories of my younger self came flooding back and the one that struck me was, how even at that age, I believed in how important health was. Pardon the cliche – if we have our health, we have our wealth. The dance with death earlier in the week is a reminder to us all to be grateful for every day that we wake healthy and strong.
If you have any issues, big or small, this week please remember to take a big step back and remember the words of Oscar Wilde (above). The metro in Paris currently has many quotes from this literary hero. His connection to Paris was also very strong and he is buried in Père Lachaise Cemetery.
Life is fragile and precious. Your ability to appreciate it will elevate you into the realms of living and not merely existing.
Please also check out my online, self-help programme, The Positive Habit which is receiving five-star reviews from subscribers who have completed the course.
Thanks for reading and I look forward to sharing with you again next week, same time, same place!
Fiona Brennan