Positive Pause – 20th June, 2016 – Avoid the Blame Game

avoid the blame gameAll too often in life it is easy to blame someone else when things do not go exactly according to plan, or to put it simply, when things go wrong!  We hear it every day ‘If only this person had done this or that, then this or that would not have happened’ or ‘I am so annoyed with x or y as this is their fault.’ Avoid the blame game

This week I was inspired by someone very close to me who rose above blame in a situation where it would have been all too easy to point the finger in fear or anger.  A medical error was made, an error that could have had very serious consequences.  The error itself was minor and even the most skilled of surgeons are human; any procedure comes with a certain amount of risk. This is true in many areas of our lives. Thankfully, everything has turned out well and there are no lasting consequences.

It occurred to me that the positive outcome of this event is not just a coincidence but because also of the positive attitude and understanding of the patient; the ability to focus on getting better rather than dwelling on what went wrong has played a huge part in the recovery process.  The negative emotions that blame bring could only hinder any healing process.

This week, if you find yourself blaming anyone for things in your life that are less than ideal, whether it is at work or in your professional life, please take a big step back and remember the person you are blaming is human and “to err is human” (Alexander Pope). The energy you expend on blame and frustration is wasted and it takes away from reaching a positive resolution to the situation.

Consider also, that very often those who jump to blame are usually twice as hard on themselves.  Please don’t forget to avoid playing the blame game on yourself.  If you make a mistake remember to take a step back, offer compassion to yourself and allow yourself to see what a ‘mistake’ really is – an opportunity to learn, to grow and to reach your full potential.

The Positive Pause – 13th June, 2016 – The Fog Always Clears

fog always clearsWhen you feel down please be kind to yourself. fog always clears

We all have days when it feels like we are struggling under a fog and can’t see clearly.  Often this can be because we are working too hard or simply trying to juggle too many different responsibilities.

This week Dublin was covered in a thick fog coming in from the sea. The famous Poolbeg chimneys in Dublin bay were completely masked by the mist. A visitor who had never seen the city before would not realise that the chimneys were there at all and yet behind all the fog the chimneys were as strong and prominent as always.

This week and every week, if you feel any heavy emotions that seem to cloud your thinking and drain your energy, please remember that underneath it all, you are still there, strong and prominent. The negative feelings will pass and you will soon be restored to your true self.

I cannot emphasise enough how important it is to be kind to yourself in those moments, hours or even days when you feel the weight of the fog. The human instinct is often to try and hide from any emotional pain, to push it down, to avoid it, to block it out in whatever coping mechanism we have learnt; this can often be to eat or drink to escape which, of course, does not work and the fog thickens and lingers longer. Often we will do anything but simply accept it. Show it compassion, accept it for what it is and then let it slowly pass.

The origin of the word emotion comes from the Latin word, ēmovēre which means to move. The fog always clears and emotions always move or pass on.

If and when you feel down or are worried about something, be kind to yourself, accept that the emotion is there for a reason and that it needs your attention and care.  Show yourself compassion and let the emotion move and pass through you. Clarity will soon be restored and you will feel much better.

fog always clears