Positive Pause – 29th August, 2016 – The Lightness of Tears

lightness of tearsGo with your emotion. Lightness of tears

Have you ever been struck by a strong emotion which has caught you completely  unawares? On Friday of last week I was happily packing , cleaning and preparing for our imminent departure from France back to Ireland when, all of a sudden as I glanced at my son playing with his toy cars (something he now rarely does) in his small bedroom, I was  overwhelmed with tears.

France really is a second home to me; eight years ago when my son, Luca was just six months old we bought a small village house that needed total renovation.  We have evolved as a family, spending all our holidays over the years in this house and each nook and cranny contains a little bit of our hearts.

Luca’s room is tiny and an adult can’t stand up straight in it. Until this year it has suited him fine but he is now getting so big that will soon bang his head off the beams.  It struck me like lightening as I was cleaning that he wouldn’t play in that room again and that we were reaching the end of an era.  A sudden wave of nostalgia and sadness came over me.

This week and every week, when you have a strong emotion, no matter what the circumstances please let yourself feel it and go through it rather than trying to suppress it. The cathartic feeling of letting yourself cry is not a weakness but a strength.

After my cry I realised it was not sadness but a form of muted joy and gratitude in disguise for all we have. The ability to allow ourselves the passing of life’s phases ironically  allows us to be fully  present in the moment. The tears allowed me to show appreciation of all the wonderful memories that we have and all the wonderful ones that are yet to come.

Please also take a moment this week (if you haven’t already) to send love and compassion to all the victims of the Italian earthquake.

If you have enjoyed this Positive Pause you might appreciate my online, self-help programme, The Positive Habit which is gaining five star ratings from those who have completed the course. Lightness of tears

The Positive Pause – 13th June, 2016 – The Fog Always Clears

fog always clearsWhen you feel down please be kind to yourself. fog always clears

We all have days when it feels like we are struggling under a fog and can’t see clearly.  Often this can be because we are working too hard or simply trying to juggle too many different responsibilities.

This week Dublin was covered in a thick fog coming in from the sea. The famous Poolbeg chimneys in Dublin bay were completely masked by the mist. A visitor who had never seen the city before would not realise that the chimneys were there at all and yet behind all the fog the chimneys were as strong and prominent as always.

This week and every week, if you feel any heavy emotions that seem to cloud your thinking and drain your energy, please remember that underneath it all, you are still there, strong and prominent. The negative feelings will pass and you will soon be restored to your true self.

I cannot emphasise enough how important it is to be kind to yourself in those moments, hours or even days when you feel the weight of the fog. The human instinct is often to try and hide from any emotional pain, to push it down, to avoid it, to block it out in whatever coping mechanism we have learnt; this can often be to eat or drink to escape which, of course, does not work and the fog thickens and lingers longer. Often we will do anything but simply accept it. Show it compassion, accept it for what it is and then let it slowly pass.

The origin of the word emotion comes from the Latin word, ēmovēre which means to move. The fog always clears and emotions always move or pass on.

If and when you feel down or are worried about something, be kind to yourself, accept that the emotion is there for a reason and that it needs your attention and care.  Show yourself compassion and let the emotion move and pass through you. Clarity will soon be restored and you will feel much better.

fog always clears