The Positive Habit Weekly Blog – 11th December, 2017 – Ride the Waves of Life with Self-Compassion

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The Positive Habit Weekly Blog – 11th December, 2017 – Ride the Waves of Life with Self-Compassion

Hello Dear Positive Habit People,I hope you’ve had a good week and of course welcome to the many new subscribers – I’m really thrilled to have you with us. Regular readers will know that I like to share something from my own life each week and then ask you to consider an idea or approach to improve your own mental health. The Positive Habit is all about that – creating the habit of being positive.

“We first make our habits, and then our habits make us.”

John Dryden


One of the techniques I learnt recently to help people with physical cravings such as emotional eating or drinking too much alcohol is to surf the urge. This is a very empowering practice that can be applied to both physical and mental bad habits. We often think of habits as things that we do but what about the habit of thinking? This is, after all, the most important habit of all and forms all our other habits.

If our thoughts create our world then it follows that healthy, positive thoughts will lead to healthy positive habits.

On Monday I was being interviewed on the Dermot and Dave show for Today FM (link to the podcast below) and was talking about acceptance being a crucial step in dealing with an anxious thought.  Dave made a good point that most people are not even aware of their thoughts and this is unfortunately true.  How can we change our negative/anxious thoughts to positive ones if we are not even aware we are having them? Being aware is therefore the first and most important step.  This week I would like you to observe yourself with love and kindness. If a negative thought or feelings of irritation and frustration or the urge to comfort eat/drink arises try surfing the urge.  The steps involved are as follows:

  1. Become aware of the thought
  2. Accept the thought
  3. Surf the thought and let it pass; do this by deepening your breath and if it is a physical craving imagine it is like an itch that you don’t scratch.
  4. Show self-compassion towards yourself for having the thought in the first place.

You will be amazed at how, by practising this, you can train your brain to make it automatic over time. The positive habit of being kind to yourself then overrides the negative habit of giving yourself a hard time. The brain behaves as a muscle does and requires proper exercise which you can give with consistent care and love.

On Wednesday I bit the bullet and started the Christmas shopping and on Saturday we got the Christmas tree so I am beginning to get ‘set’ for Christmas!  When I was in town shopping I could feel the stress of my fellow shoppers and the exhaustion of the shop staff; one shop assistant described it as  “the nightmare of Christmas!”  I had to work hard not to get caught up in the frenzied stress. At this time of year it is even more crucial to cultivate your internal calm and to maintain a vital sense of perspective.  If you feel challenged by the build up to Christmas please read an article I wrote last year for Bressie’s wonderful mental health site, A Lust For Life, ‘Have Yourself a Conscious Christmas’.

Thanks again for reading and please do share this post with your friends and family and let the positive vibes uplift those you care about.

If you are interested in the Love Yourself Well workshops please note that early bird tickets (€115 as opposed to the full price of €130) are on sale until January 6th, 2018.

Ride the Waves of Life with Self-Compassion

Fiona with Dermot and Dave in Today FM on the Mind Yourself Now mental health slot. To listen click here.

The Positive Habit Christmas Gift Vouchers

Perhaps you have gifted yourself The Positive Habit Program  and perhaps you think someone you LOVE could also benefit from a positive mindset so that they too can feel calm, confident and joyful this Christmas.

Gift Vouchers now available.

Keep spreading the positive energy & make someone TRULY happy this Christmas.

Ride the Waves of Life with Self-Compassion

The Positive Habit continues to help people all over the world.

The Maintenance Program is now also available and is a wonderful way for people who have completed The Positive Habit to sustain their positive shift.

Register Now!
Ride the Waves of Life with Self-Compassion

2018 Workshops

Dublin – 17th February 2018
Cork – 3rd March 2018

Early Bird until January 6th 2018 is only €115.00
Full Price Ticket is €130.00

Book Now!

Presented by Nutritional Therapist Elsa Jones & Clinical Hypnotherapist Fiona Brennan, ‘Love Yourself Well’ is a unique mind-body weight management program that deals with both the physical and psychological components of weight management, providing you with tools that will lead to lasting weight loss success.

At Love Yourself Well, we invite you to attend a one-day masterclass workshop where you will be given a set of uniquely effective tools help you manage your weight & health for life. You will then have the option to become a Love Yourself Well member where you will have access to a private online support group and have monthly live webinar sessions with Fiona & Elsa (inc. Q&A) to help you stay on track & reach your health goals.

Ride the Waves of Life with Self-Compassion

The Positive Habit Weekly Blog – 4th December, 2017 – Pale Blue Dot

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The Positive Habit Weekly Blog – 4th December, 2017 – Pale Blue Dot

Hello Dear Positive Habit People,

I hope you’ve had a good week and are remaining nice and calm while the build-up to Christmas really kicks in. Expectations at this time of year can often lead to pressure as we continue all of our everyday responsibilities along with the task of creating the ‘perfect’ Christmas!

“Are you all set for Christmas?” When people ask me this I just smile and think to myself – ‘not at all and that’s OK’! How we prepare for celebrations is in fact very subjective; whatever the approach it is really about finding one that works best for you. If you are super organised and that helps you to feel calm, good. If however, like me, that is not your style then find peace with how you are and be confident that it will all fall into place. I literally haven’t even started to prepare!  Christmas, isn’t that miles away?!  It is, isn’t it?!

With all the talk of ‘getting set’ and ‘being prepared’ for Christmas it is important that we consider the most important preparation – being calm and happy. The tree can be up and the turkey ordered but if you are not feeling calm and happy, what is the point? Being mentally fit for the festive season is often overlooked and yet causes a lot of difficulties as people often fall into negative thought patterns when surrounded by family. In his autobiography, ‘Music and Madness’, Ivor Browne, the eminent Irish psychiatrist observes that being with your family can be one of the worst places for people to be at Christmas. A rather bleak outlook perhaps but this time of year is not easy for many people. The best gift you can give yourself and your loved ones is to be calm, happy and truly present.

A little perspective at this time of year can go a long way.

During the week, Luca and I (now 10 years old) were watching ‘Cosmos: a Spacetime Odyessy’ on Netflix which I would recommend highly. It is an mind-boggling history of the infinity of the cosmos and can certainly provide us with a healthy sense of perspective if your mind starts to race with negative thoughts. Carl Sagan, the American astronomer, cosmologist, and author who is referred to in ‘Cosmos’, was famous for seeing the bigger picture.  His speech, ‘Pale Blue Dot’ really resonated with me as it describes in the vastness of the universe and just how small we are – the pale blue dot. His message of kindness at the end is one that inspires hope.

You can read the speech below or, if you prefer, you can watch the YouTube video here where it is narrated.

The Pale Blue Dot  

“Look again at that dot. That’s here. That’s home. That’s us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every “superstar,” every “supreme leader,” every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there–on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.

The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds.

Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the Universe, are challenged by this point of pale light. Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves.

The Earth is the only world known so far to harbor life. There is nowhere else, at least in the near future, to which our species could migrate. Visit, yes. Settle, not yet. Like it or not, for the moment the Earth is where we make our stand.

It has been said that astronomy is a humbling and character-building experience. There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another and to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we’ve ever known.

— Carl Sagan, Pale Blue Dot, 1994

Have a great week. I will, of course, be here with you next Monday as always to help bring a smile to your face and a lightness to your step.

I will be on the Dermot and Dave Show on Today FM (Monday) at 10.30.am discussing #thisiswhatanxietyfeelslike. I hope you get a chance to listen to it. If not, I will post the podcast here next week.

The Positive Habit Christmas Gift Vouchers

Perhaps you have gifted yourself The Positive Habit Program  and perhaps you think someone you LOVE could also benefit from a positive mindset so that they too can feel calm, confident and joyful this Christmas.

Gift Vouchers now available.

Keep spreading the positive energy & make someone TRULY happy this Christmas.

pale blue dot

The Positive Habit continues to help people all over the world.

The Maintenance Program is now also available and is a wonderful way for people who have completed The Positive Habit to sustain their positive shift.

Register Now!
pale blue dot

2018 Workshops

Dublin – 17th February 2017

Cork – 3rd March 2017

Early Bird until January 6th 2018 is only €115.00
Full Price Ticket is €130.00

BOOK NOW

Presented by Nutritional Therapist Elsa Jones & Clinical Hypnotherapist Fiona Brennan, ‘Love Yourself Well’ is a unique mind-body weight management program that deals with both the physical and psychological components of weight management, providing you with tools that will lead to lasting weight loss success.

At Love Yourself Well, we invite you to attend a one-day masterclass workshop where you will be given a set of uniquely effective tools help you manage your weight & health for life. You will then have the option to become a Love Yourself Well member where you will have access to a private online support group and have monthly live webinar sessions with Fiona & Elsa (inc. Q&A) to help you stay on track & reach your health goals.

pale blue dot

The Positive Habit Weekly Blog – 27th November, 2017 – Give Genuine Compliments

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The Positive Habit Weekly Blog – 27th November, 2017 – Give Genuine Compliments

Hello, my fellow Positive Habit people,

I hope you are well this Monday morning! We are now truly in the thick of the dark mornings and evenings and with this lack of external light we all need to work hard on keeping our internal levels of positive light healthy and strong.

Last week when I was in the bank I noticed that the young teller had the most amazing skin, so even though I was a little cautious about being familiar with someone I don’t know, I said, “You have amazing skin”! The girl was literally delighted, her beautiful skin glowed and she said “Thanks, so much, you have made my day.” Wow, that was simple, I thought and I felt a glow inside even though my skin wasn’t quite as amazing. Nevertheless, my inner glow at making someone’s day was pretty high.

What I Iove about compliments is the way they pass freely from one person to another.  You know when you think something nice about a person but either forget to tell them or are too embarrassed?  This week, capture those thoughts in your awareness and spread some sunshine by choosing to make people smile. IF you think of something nice about a person, if you notice they have a nice dress, cool shoes or even more importantly, that they are kind, fun or caring, TELL them! Genuine compliments only please not manufactured ones.

Living a mindful life is a skill that you learn and the perk is that you notice all the good in the world, including in other people. 

Those of you who have completed my online, self-help program, The Positive Habit, will know how I feel about gossip.  Gossip is toxic and is actually most harmful to the perpetrator and those who encourage it.  Unfortunately, gossip is highly prevalent with people often quick to criticise; for many the passing of a negative comment or making a judgment slips easily from the tongue. The Positive Habit is all about developing the awareness and habit of turning negative behavior into positive.

Make an effort to pay your friends, family, kids, strangers authentic compliments and you will make their day and your own.  Also, work on spreading positive vibes about other people by saying positive things;  the opposite of gossip. I don’t think we have yet developed a word for this? ‘Possip?’ mmmm…maybe back to the drawing board…

On a neurochemical level when we indulge in gossip we are sparking the production of lots of the stress hormone, cortisol in our brains and bodies. It never feels good to talk ill of other people and this is why cortisol is generated.  The old saying, ‘If you have nothing good to say…say nothing’ comes to mind. We probably all know people who are notorious for gossiping but when you are with these people make the conscious choice not to encourage or engage in gossiping. Believe me, these gossips will eventually stop looking to you for back up.

I was overjoyed with all the positive compliments on my TEDx so thank you.  I would like to share with you another TEDx talk by my colleague, Mark Kelly whose inspiring idea mirrors the theme of this weeks blog – when we do an act of kindness we feel better ourselves. To watch his talk, click here.

Please share this blog with five people in your network and spread the positive energy and also please do share my TEDx – the link is below and it is helping those who may be struggling with anxiety.

Give Genuine Compliments

To Watch my TEDX please click here – don’t forget to like and share. Thanks. 

The Positive Habit Christmas Gift Vouchers

Perhaps you have gifted yourself The Positive Habit Program  and perhaps you think someone you LOVE could also benefit from a positive mindset so that they too can feel calm, confident and joyful this Christmas.

Gift Vouchers now available.

Our gift to you is to receive 10% OFF the full price of the program when you enter the code XMASPROMO at the checkout!

Keep spreading the positive energy & make someone TRULY happy this Christmas.

Give Genuine Compliments

The Positive Habit continues to help people all over the world.

The Maintenance Program is now also available and is a wonderful way for people who have completed The Positive Habit to sustain their positive shift.

Register Now!

Love Yourself Well

The Weight Management Workshops are returning in 2018!

The first workshop will be held on February 27th in Airfield Estate, Dundrum, Dublin 14
For details and to book please click here

Give Genuine Compliments

The Positive Habit Weekly Blog – 20th November, 2017 – Calm Your Amygdala

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The Positive Habit Weekly Blog – 20th November, 2017 – Calm Your Amygdala

Hello, my fellow Positive Habit people,

How are you feeling today? I hope well and happy. Welcome to all new readers, I really hope that you benefit by reading this. Thanks to everyone for sharing it with their friends and families.

Take a moment to reflect on the past week since you last received this blog and identify some positive moments which made you feel happy, grateful, full of joy or some other positive emotion.  You may have a wonderful bank of memories that you can draw on (I really hope that you do) or it may take a moment to think of even one. If you search hard enough you will find something that makes you smile. Focus on that moment. What was happening? Where were you?  Who were you with? What did you see, smell taste, touch? Notice as you do this that you will start to feel the same positive emotions flowing through you again.

The wonderful thing about our subconscious is that it doesn’t know the difference between imagination and reality so just thinking a positive memory is very powerful.

By doing so you are reinforcing positive pathways in your brain by firing the same synaptic connections. Unfortunately, the converse is also true and many people unintentionally trigger negative neural pathways by ruminating on difficult or stressful moments they have had. The very act of remembering and thinking of them is like re-living the unwanted experience many times over to the subconscious mind.

On a neuroscientific level what is happening is that the amygdala (a walnut-shaped structure in the centre of our emotional brain) which is the fear centre of the brain is being overstimulated and sends out an alarm signal that carries the stress hormone, cortisol to the rest of the body. This leads the body and mind to go into a state of high alert and wait for the next potential threat.  It can be exhausting and causes so much unnecessary suffering.  It is important to be able to calm and soothe your amygdala when it becomes activated.

So how do we calm the amygdala?  

Mindfulness is, in my opinion, one the most effective and practical solutions for calming the mind and for stopping it from turning heaven into hell. You can use it in the moment to bring you back to the moment. Your breath provides the most effective and comforting tool to cultivate calmness.

On Friday last, I attended the first in a series of CPD training courses in the ‘Therapeutic Use of Mindfulness’ which is taught by the highly experienced practitioner, Padraig O’Morain. O’Morain describes suffering, pain or challenges in our lives as ‘the first arrow’ that we have to deal with. The ‘second arrow’ is shot when we dwell, ruminate and obsess and this doubles the pain and prolongs our suffering.  In my opinion, the arrow metaphor aptly captures both the significant sufferings in our life and also the smaller challenges that we face daily within our relationships and at work.

Padraig O’Morain sends out a mindfulness reminder every morning which is short and sweet and usually taken from one of the many international mindfulness leaders.  If you are interested you can sign up here.  I’ve been getting them for years and I find them very helpful.

This week, if you find your mind wandering off on a negative path please take some deep breaths and gently guide it back to the safety of the present moment. Remember also to hold all the positive moments in your awareness for as long as you can, by doing so the best of you will shine brightly.

My TEDx is finally live and is already clocking up hundreds of views in a matter of days. I shared this personal story to inspire hope for those struggling with anxiety which can be managed and the world can be a place full of light and love.

Please share this blog with five people in your network and spread the positive energy and also please do share the TEDx – the link is below.

Calm Your Amygdala

To Watch my TEDX please click here – don’t forget to like and share. Thanks. 

The Positive Habit Christmas Gift Vouchers

Perhaps you have gifted yourself The Positive Habit Program  and perhaps you think someone you LOVE could also benefit from a positive mindset so that they too can feel calm, confident and joyful this Christmas.

Gift Vouchers now available.

Our gift to you is to receive 10% OFF the full price of the program when you enter the code XMASPROMO at the checkout!

Keep spreading the positive energy & make someone TRULY happy this Christmas.

Calm Your Amygdala

The Positive Habit continues to help people all over the world.

The Maintenance Program is now also available and is a wonderful way for people who have completed The Positive Habit to sustain their positive shift.

Register Now!

Love Yourself Well

Weight Management Workshops are returning in 2018!

First workshop will be held in early February in Dublin.
Details and early bird booking available soon.

Please check out  my newly designed website
www.fionabrennanhypnotherapy.com
which has a lot of information on the process I use with clients. I specialise in helping people in the areas of anxiety, stress, emotional eating, public speaking/ confidence and self-esteem issues.  If you or any one you care about needs help with any of these issues please do book a consultation.  My diary is usually booked up 2-4 weeks in advance but can cancellations do come in from time to time and it would then be possible that I could see you earlier.

Calm Your Amygdala

The Positive Habit Weekly Blog – 13th November, 2017 – Why We Shouldn’t Say Should

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The Positive Habit Weekly Blog – 13th November, 2017 – Why We Shouldn’t Say Should

Hello, my fellow Positive Habit people,

I hope you have had a good week, it’s lovely to have you with me every Monday.

Could you try a simple exercise for me:

Lift the left corner of your mouth on your left and now your right…yippee  I’ve done it, you are smiling and it is MONDAY!

This week I am focussing on the idea of why we shouldn’t use the word ‘should’ in any form. It can be hard to find a replacement for the word and you would be amazed at how often people use it.  ‘Should’ is a modal verb along with could, would and may. It is used to express necessity while the other modal verbs are usually more connected with possibility. Today, I feel the necessity to highlight that if/when you hear yourself utter the word ‘should’ take this as a warning signal to be kinder to yourself.

Like many of us, as a child I was told to watch my language by well-intentioned adults and I’m not saying there is anything wrong with this; cursing and swearing have their place but are overused, often inappropriately. However, instead of worrying so much about our P’s & Q’s we should teach our kids to see the perils in having a critical voice in your mind that tells you what you should be, should have done and what you shouldn’t do.

Take a moment to reflect on your own inner critic if you feel you have one – even the most positive habiters of us will, I am sure, have one from time-to-time.  Ask yourself, is ‘should‘ a word you use? How often and how regularly? Is it about yourself and/or others?

Use of the word ‘should’ generally reflects some form of judgement and pressure. Examples include:

‘I should really have my life together at this stage’
‘I should be married’
‘I should have a baby’
I should have another baby’
I should have more money
‘I should be able to buy a house’
‘I should have bought a bigger house’
‘I should be more sociable’
‘I should eat less’
‘I should drink less’
I should be kinder’
‘I should have said …
‘I shouldn’t have said….
‘I shouldn’t be so stupid’
‘I shouldn’t feel like this’
‘I should be happy’

The list, unfortunately, goes on and on and I feel I should get to the point. Many of my clients, when I first meet them, are big on should.  This reflects an inner pressure to be something that they are not and illustrates a dissatisfaction with themselves, which is of course not a positive habit.  Many people who use this word about themselves also use it about others, their husbands, wives, children, parents, friends, their boss, the local community, the government and again the list goes on. But where do all these shoulds lead to? Usually nowhere except more of the same negative behaviour. They generally don’t change a situation or improve a person but they do have the effect of eroding the confidence of the individual concerned.

‘Shoulds’ keep us stuck with no room for growth.


I used to feel I should do many things and frankly I never got any of them done. Now I know I should sometimes work less, spend more time with friends and family but now instead of saying I should I just DO it without the pressure. Last week I met friends for dinner, went to a gig with my husband and went to see my sister in Berlin at the weekend – there was not a should in sight!

 

Berlin is a city that defies the idea of should; it is full of people who seek an alternative life, that choose not to conform to what they feel they should be doing.  This spirit of freedom is very much represented in the graffiti that covers every spare brick.

It can be  hard to find another word to replace ‘should.’ One that can help free you of ‘shoulds’ is to the affirmative I am going to.

Certainty creates confidence and leaves no room for subconscious doubt.


Reading this blog every week helps establish growing levels of positive energy and develops the positive habit in you. Please share this with five people in your network and spread the positive energy.

 

The Positive Habit Christmas Gift Vouchers

Perhaps you have gifted yourself The Positive Habit Program  and perhaps you think someone you LOVE could also benefit from a positive mindset so that they too can feel calm, confident and joyful this Christmas.

Gift Vouchers now available.

Our gift to you is to receive 10% OFF the full price of the program when you enter the code XMASPROMO at the checkout!

Keep spreading the positive energy & make someone TRULY happy this Christmas.

Why We Shouldnt Say Should

The Positive Habit continues to help people all over the world.

The Maintenance Program is now also available and is a wonderful way for people who have completed The Positive Habit to sustain their positive shift.

Register Now!

Love Yourself Well

Weight Management Workshops are returning in 2018!

First workshop will be held on Saturday 3rd February in Dublin.
Details and early bird booking available soon.

Please check out  my newly designed website
www.fionabrennanhypnotherapy.com
which has a lot of information on the process I use with clients. I specialise in helping people in the areas of anxiety, stress, emotional eating, public speaking/ confidence and self-esteem issues.  If you or any one you care about needs help with any of these issues please do book a consultation.  My diary is usually booked up 2-4 weeks in advance but can cancellations do come in from time to time and it would then be possible that I could see you earlier.

Why We Shouldnt Say Should