The Positive Habit Weekly Blog – 27th November, 2017 – Give Genuine Compliments

The Positive Habit Weekly Blog – 27th November, 2017 – Give Genuine Compliments

Hello, my fellow Positive Habit people,

I hope you are well this Monday morning! We are now truly in the thick of the dark mornings and evenings and with this lack of external light we all need to work hard on keeping our internal levels of positive light healthy and strong.

Last week when I was in the bank I noticed that the young teller had the most amazing skin, so even though I was a little cautious about being familiar with someone I don’t know, I said, “You have amazing skin”! The girl was literally delighted, her beautiful skin glowed and she said “Thanks, so much, you have made my day.” Wow, that was simple, I thought and I felt a glow inside even though my skin wasn’t quite as amazing. Nevertheless, my inner glow at making someone’s day was pretty high.

What I Iove about compliments is the way they pass freely from one person to another.  You know when you think something nice about a person but either forget to tell them or are too embarrassed?  This week, capture those thoughts in your awareness and spread some sunshine by choosing to make people smile. IF you think of something nice about a person, if you notice they have a nice dress, cool shoes or even more importantly, that they are kind, fun or caring, TELL them! Genuine compliments only please not manufactured ones.

Living a mindful life is a skill that you learn and the perk is that you notice all the good in the world, including in other people. 

Those of you who have completed my online, self-help program, The Positive Habit, will know how I feel about gossip.  Gossip is toxic and is actually most harmful to the perpetrator and those who encourage it.  Unfortunately, gossip is highly prevalent with people often quick to criticise; for many the passing of a negative comment or making a judgment slips easily from the tongue. The Positive Habit is all about developing the awareness and habit of turning negative behavior into positive.

Make an effort to pay your friends, family, kids, strangers authentic compliments and you will make their day and your own.  Also, work on spreading positive vibes about other people by saying positive things;  the opposite of gossip. I don’t think we have yet developed a word for this? ‘Possip?’ mmmm…maybe back to the drawing board…

On a neurochemical level when we indulge in gossip we are sparking the production of lots of the stress hormone, cortisol in our brains and bodies. It never feels good to talk ill of other people and this is why cortisol is generated.  The old saying, ‘If you have nothing good to say…say nothing’ comes to mind. We probably all know people who are notorious for gossiping but when you are with these people make the conscious choice not to encourage or engage in gossiping. Believe me, these gossips will eventually stop looking to you for back up.

I was overjoyed with all the positive compliments on my TEDx so thank you.  I would like to share with you another TEDx talk by my colleague, Mark Kelly whose inspiring idea mirrors the theme of this weeks blog – when we do an act of kindness we feel better ourselves. To watch his talk, click here.

Please share this blog with five people in your network and spread the positive energy and also please do share my TEDx – the link is below and it is helping those who may be struggling with anxiety.

Give Genuine Compliments

To Watch my TEDX please click here – don’t forget to like and share. Thanks. 

The Positive Habit Christmas Gift Vouchers

Perhaps you have gifted yourself The Positive Habit Program  and perhaps you think someone you LOVE could also benefit from a positive mindset so that they too can feel calm, confident and joyful this Christmas.

Gift Vouchers now available.

Our gift to you is to receive 10% OFF the full price of the program when you enter the code XMASPROMO at the checkout!

Keep spreading the positive energy & make someone TRULY happy this Christmas.

Give Genuine Compliments

The Positive Habit continues to help people all over the world.

The Maintenance Program is now also available and is a wonderful way for people who have completed The Positive Habit to sustain their positive shift.

Love Yourself Well

The Weight Management Workshops are returning in 2018!

The first workshop will be held on February 27th in Airfield Estate, Dundrum, Dublin 14
For details and to book please click here

Give Genuine Compliments

The Positive Habit Weekly Blog – 20th November, 2017 – Calm Your Amygdala

The Positive Habit Weekly Blog – 20th November, 2017 – Calm Your Amygdala

Hello, my fellow Positive Habit people,

How are you feeling today? I hope well and happy. Welcome to all new readers, I really hope that you benefit by reading this. Thanks to everyone for sharing it with their friends and families.

Take a moment to reflect on the past week since you last received this blog and identify some positive moments which made you feel happy, grateful, full of joy or some other positive emotion.  You may have a wonderful bank of memories that you can draw on (I really hope that you do) or it may take a moment to think of even one. If you search hard enough you will find something that makes you smile. Focus on that moment. What was happening? Where were you?  Who were you with? What did you see, smell taste, touch? Notice as you do this that you will start to feel the same positive emotions flowing through you again.

The wonderful thing about our subconscious is that it doesn’t know the difference between imagination and reality so just thinking a positive memory is very powerful.

By doing so you are reinforcing positive pathways in your brain by firing the same synaptic connections. Unfortunately, the converse is also true and many people unintentionally trigger negative neural pathways by ruminating on difficult or stressful moments they have had. The very act of remembering and thinking of them is like re-living the unwanted experience many times over to the subconscious mind.

On a neuroscientific level what is happening is that the amygdala (a walnut-shaped structure in the centre of our emotional brain) which is the fear centre of the brain is being overstimulated and sends out an alarm signal that carries the stress hormone, cortisol to the rest of the body. This leads the body and mind to go into a state of high alert and wait for the next potential threat.  It can be exhausting and causes so much unnecessary suffering.  It is important to be able to calm and soothe your amygdala when it becomes activated.

So how do we calm the amygdala?  

Mindfulness is, in my opinion, one the most effective and practical solutions for calming the mind and for stopping it from turning heaven into hell. You can use it in the moment to bring you back to the moment. Your breath provides the most effective and comforting tool to cultivate calmness.

On Friday last, I attended the first in a series of CPD training courses in the ‘Therapeutic Use of Mindfulness’ which is taught by the highly experienced practitioner, Padraig O’Morain. O’Morain describes suffering, pain or challenges in our lives as ‘the first arrow’ that we have to deal with. The ‘second arrow’ is shot when we dwell, ruminate and obsess and this doubles the pain and prolongs our suffering.  In my opinion, the arrow metaphor aptly captures both the significant sufferings in our life and also the smaller challenges that we face daily within our relationships and at work.

Padraig O’Morain sends out a mindfulness reminder every morning which is short and sweet and usually taken from one of the many international mindfulness leaders.  If you are interested you can sign up here.  I’ve been getting them for years and I find them very helpful.

This week, if you find your mind wandering off on a negative path please take some deep breaths and gently guide it back to the safety of the present moment. Remember also to hold all the positive moments in your awareness for as long as you can, by doing so the best of you will shine brightly.

My TEDx is finally live and is already clocking up hundreds of views in a matter of days. I shared this personal story to inspire hope for those struggling with anxiety which can be managed and the world can be a place full of light and love.

Please share this blog with five people in your network and spread the positive energy and also please do share the TEDx – the link is below.

Calm Your Amygdala

To Watch my TEDX please click here – don’t forget to like and share. Thanks. 

The Positive Habit Christmas Gift Vouchers

Perhaps you have gifted yourself The Positive Habit Program  and perhaps you think someone you LOVE could also benefit from a positive mindset so that they too can feel calm, confident and joyful this Christmas.

Gift Vouchers now available.

Our gift to you is to receive 10% OFF the full price of the program when you enter the code XMASPROMO at the checkout!

Keep spreading the positive energy & make someone TRULY happy this Christmas.

Calm Your Amygdala

The Positive Habit continues to help people all over the world.

The Maintenance Program is now also available and is a wonderful way for people who have completed The Positive Habit to sustain their positive shift.

Love Yourself Well

Weight Management Workshops are returning in 2018!

First workshop will be held in early February in Dublin.
Details and early bird booking available soon.

Please check out  my newly designed website
www.fionabrennanhypnotherapy.com
which has a lot of information on the process I use with clients. I specialise in helping people in the areas of anxiety, stress, emotional eating, public speaking/ confidence and self-esteem issues.  If you or any one you care about needs help with any of these issues please do book a consultation.  My diary is usually booked up 2-4 weeks in advance but can cancellations do come in from time to time and it would then be possible that I could see you earlier.

Calm Your Amygdala

The Positive Habit Weekly Blog – 13th November, 2017 – Why We Shouldn’t Say Should

The Positive Habit Weekly Blog – 13th November, 2017 – Why We Shouldn’t Say Should

Hello, my fellow Positive Habit people,

I hope you have had a good week, it’s lovely to have you with me every Monday.

Could you try a simple exercise for me:

Lift the left corner of your mouth on your left and now your right…yippee  I’ve done it, you are smiling and it is MONDAY!

This week I am focussing on the idea of why we shouldn’t use the word ‘should’ in any form. It can be hard to find a replacement for the word and you would be amazed at how often people use it.  ‘Should’ is a modal verb along with could, would and may. It is used to express necessity while the other modal verbs are usually more connected with possibility. Today, I feel the necessity to highlight that if/when you hear yourself utter the word ‘should’ take this as a warning signal to be kinder to yourself.

Like many of us, as a child I was told to watch my language by well-intentioned adults and I’m not saying there is anything wrong with this; cursing and swearing have their place but are overused, often inappropriately. However, instead of worrying so much about our P’s & Q’s we should teach our kids to see the perils in having a critical voice in your mind that tells you what you should be, should have done and what you shouldn’t do.

Take a moment to reflect on your own inner critic if you feel you have one – even the most positive habiters of us will, I am sure, have one from time-to-time.  Ask yourself, is ‘should‘ a word you use? How often and how regularly? Is it about yourself and/or others?

Use of the word ‘should’ generally reflects some form of judgement and pressure. Examples include:

‘I should really have my life together at this stage’
‘I should be married’
‘I should have a baby’
I should have another baby’
I should have more money
‘I should be able to buy a house’
‘I should have bought a bigger house’
‘I should be more sociable’
‘I should eat less’
‘I should drink less’
I should be kinder’
‘I should have said …
‘I shouldn’t have said….
‘I shouldn’t be so stupid’
‘I shouldn’t feel like this’
‘I should be happy’

The list, unfortunately, goes on and on and I feel I should get to the point. Many of my clients, when I first meet them, are big on should.  This reflects an inner pressure to be something that they are not and illustrates a dissatisfaction with themselves, which is of course not a positive habit.  Many people who use this word about themselves also use it about others, their husbands, wives, children, parents, friends, their boss, the local community, the government and again the list goes on. But where do all these shoulds lead to? Usually nowhere except more of the same negative behaviour. They generally don’t change a situation or improve a person but they do have the effect of eroding the confidence of the individual concerned.

‘Shoulds’ keep us stuck with no room for growth.


I used to feel I should do many things and frankly I never got any of them done. Now I know I should sometimes work less, spend more time with friends and family but now instead of saying I should I just DO it without the pressure. Last week I met friends for dinner, went to a gig with my husband and went to see my sister in Berlin at the weekend – there was not a should in sight!

 

Berlin is a city that defies the idea of should; it is full of people who seek an alternative life, that choose not to conform to what they feel they should be doing.  This spirit of freedom is very much represented in the graffiti that covers every spare brick.

It can be  hard to find another word to replace ‘should.’ One that can help free you of ‘shoulds’ is to the affirmative I am going to.

Certainty creates confidence and leaves no room for subconscious doubt.


Reading this blog every week helps establish growing levels of positive energy and develops the positive habit in you. Please share this with five people in your network and spread the positive energy.

 

The Positive Habit Christmas Gift Vouchers

Perhaps you have gifted yourself The Positive Habit Program  and perhaps you think someone you LOVE could also benefit from a positive mindset so that they too can feel calm, confident and joyful this Christmas.

Gift Vouchers now available.

Our gift to you is to receive 10% OFF the full price of the program when you enter the code XMASPROMO at the checkout!

Keep spreading the positive energy & make someone TRULY happy this Christmas.

Why We Shouldnt Say Should

The Positive Habit continues to help people all over the world.

The Maintenance Program is now also available and is a wonderful way for people who have completed The Positive Habit to sustain their positive shift.

Love Yourself Well

Weight Management Workshops are returning in 2018!

First workshop will be held on Saturday 3rd February in Dublin.
Details and early bird booking available soon.

Please check out  my newly designed website
www.fionabrennanhypnotherapy.com
which has a lot of information on the process I use with clients. I specialise in helping people in the areas of anxiety, stress, emotional eating, public speaking/ confidence and self-esteem issues.  If you or any one you care about needs help with any of these issues please do book a consultation.  My diary is usually booked up 2-4 weeks in advance but can cancellations do come in from time to time and it would then be possible that I could see you earlier.

Why We Shouldnt Say Should

The Positive Habit Weekly Blog – 6th November, 2017 – so Super Aware

The Positive Habit Weekly Blog – 6th November, 2017 – so Super Aware

Hello, my fellow Positive Habit people,

I hope you are well and spreading positive vibes each and every precious day. When you feel positive you give a gift to everyone in your life and unconsciously you are also lifting the souls of all those around you. ‘Positive Energy is Contagious’ was one of the slogans on the Dublin City Marathon posters last week and it is true, positive energy fuels us all for the marathon of life.

Some of you may have heard the phrase by Jim Rohn (American entrepreneur and motivational speaker), “you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” The people we spend time with have a huge impact on how we feel about ourselves, our ability to reach our full potential and ultimately to love and live happily.  A useful way to consider the people in your life is to ask yourself if  they help you to feel better or worse about yourself? If it is better, great – seek them out and spend time with them. If however, you struggle and come away feeling drained of energy, questions need to be asked and lessons learnt as to why you feel this way.  The ultimate aim on The Positive Habit journey is to move from frustration to compassion when challenged by people stuck in negative thought patterns.

On Wednesday I sought out the company of a positive energy provider, (that makes her sound like an electricity company which is actually quite appropriate as electricity is a form of energy), a new friend who is both kind and fun, a fabulous combination.  As a fellow therapist, we have a lot to chat about and we can get lost in talks about Eckhart Tolle, Rick Hanson, Brene Brown and other spiritual leaders that we admire.  Over a lovely glass of wine, we were doing just that, chatting about how we have the ability to be full present in each moment. We felt that we are great and so super aware that maybe we could even share some of our wisdom with the great Eckhart Tolle and others! When the time came for us to ‘mindfully’ make our way home, my friend realised that she didn’t have her phone and assumed that she had left it in the hotel bar. When I rang it we heard nothing so she went back to the bar insisting that I didn’t wait and instead make my way home on Daisy, my bike.  Off I cycled, blissfully aware of my surroundings and appreciating the beautiful evening.  After a few moments I thought I heard a faint buzz from my bag but then was once again oh so mindful and appreciating the tops of the trees that I didn’t really think it came from my bag.  When I got home there was a more insistent buzzing coming from my bag. Yes, there in my bag was my trusting friend’s phone! So super aware was I that I didn’t just remember to pick up my own phone but I thought I would take hers as well!  I should add that this lovely lady has a hearing aid at the moment that she controls through an app on her phone  so losing her phone also means losing her ability to control her hearing. Always positive and aware she describes the situation thus:

“King Eckhart was whispering in my deaf ear as I struggled to understand the disappearance of my phone and remind myself “innnnnn this mooooommmmmennnnttttt, there IS no problem. Allllll iiiiiiissss weeellllllllllllllllll”

Not long after she turned up at the door with a big smile on her face and then headed home glad that she had dealt with the issue in a calm way that Eckhart would have been proud of!

Some of you may have seen the fantastic, first interview that Oprah Winfrey did with Eckhart Tolle.  If so, please watch it again. If you haven’t seen it then you should as it explains perfectly how we all have the capacity to awaken to each golden moment of our lives. Click Here to watch.

Reading this blog every week helps establish growing levels of positive energy and develops the positive habit in you. Please share this with five people in your network and spread the positive energy.

so super aware

The Positive Habit continues to help people all over the world.

The Maintenance Program is now also available and is a wonderful way for people who have completed The Positive Habit to sustain their positive shift.

Please check out  my newly designed website
www.fionabrennanhypnotherapy.com
which has a lot of information on the process I use with clients. I specialise in helping people in the areas of anxiety, stress, emotional eating, public speaking/ confidence and self-esteem issues.  If you or any one you care about needs help with any of these issues please do book a consultation.  My diary is usually booked up 2-4 weeks in advance but can cancellations do come in from time to time and it would then be possible that I could see you earlier.

so super aware