Why does it often take a tragedy for people to do what they really want to do?
This week, consider anyone you know who has faced a terrible tragedy in their lives; a bereavement, serious illness, the loss of a home or one of the struggles that many of us face. You may even have had a recent trauma yourself and are trying now to cope with the everyday business of getting on with your life.
People who lose a loved one, for example a spouse or parent, often decide that they wish to start to focus on the areas of life that make them happy. They are no longer content to settle for a life that disappoints them or to spend time with people who drain their energy. We can learn something from those who do not just survive a tragedy but overcome it and thrive. Take a moment to identify what you value in your life, what activities you enjoy. Ask yourself, who fills you with positive energy? Turn your attention towards these things more and more rather than waiting for a tragedy to remind you of what is important in life. Turning tragedy positive.
This week, think back to what your favourite activity was as a child. If you loved to rollerskate, play football, hide and seek or paint a picture, is there something stopping you from doing this now? If so, take some free time to get back in touch with that side of you.
You can do this with children in your life or even with open-minded adults; you might be surprised at how many adults still like to play. When we play, we are free. Our minds become completely absorbed in the here and now and the only goal in mind is having fun. This, in itself, is an essential part of our mental well-being. So, go on, play!
Martin Seligman, the father of the Positive Psychology movement, has a plan that by the year 2055 55% of the world’s population will be thriving rather than languishing. Up until the development of “Positive Psychology”, Clinical Psychologists had only paid attention to methods of how to fix people who were suffering with mental health issues. Seligman and his colleagues, in contrast, took an active role in studying how humans could pursue happiness and make the most of their lives and that this would have a major impact on their mental health.
This week, consider your strengths and how best you can build on them. Consider how to develop and embrace all that is already positive in your life while at the same time thinking of how to progress. In order to thrive a good starting point is to be gratetful for all that you have and to focus on the activities that make you happy. Flourish with positive psychology!
This week, if you feel stressed by too many demands at work, or if something is not going the way you intended, or you simply feel worn out or drained then use this this simple but incredibly effective technique to calm down quickly, recover your mental well-being and return to a place of inner calm and peace.
Sit down somewhere where you won’t be disturbed.
Close your eyes and focus on your breathing.
Check in with how stressed/anxious you feel on a scale of 0-10 with 10 being the highest and 0 the lowest.
Imagine a dial with the numbers 0-10 in front of you.
Start at the number of how high your unwanted negative emotion is – if it is 10 start there, if it is 7-8 or even a 4-5 then start there.
Take a deep breath in and as you do this imagine breathing in a sense of calm. You can give this a light colour. When you reach the top of the breath hold it and scan your body for the stress and tension you are feeling. Slowly start to exhale while imagining a dark colour slowly leaving your body and releasing the tension.
Continue this and work your way down to 0 while visualising the numbers going down with each inhalation and exhalation.
Open your eyes and notice how much calmer you are than when you first started the exercise.
Many people turn to unhealthy habits such as smoking or comfort eating when they feel stressed or anxious but these habits often compound the problem. By using techniques such as the anxiety/stress dial outlined above you are taking a responsible role in your ability to self-soothe.
This week, tap into the power of your imagination. Living in the present moment is an incredible technique that helps you to appreciate the wonder of being alive. However, if your imagination feels like going on a journey, allow it to roam free and see your future. Allow your mind to visualise your dreams as if they are already true. The beauty of the subconscious mind is that it does not understand the difference between reality and imagination. By closing your eyes and visualising whatever it is that you desire your body and mind will benefit from a sense of accomplishment and success.
In addition to experiencing an incredible moment in your mind, you are laying the seeds that will allow you to realise your dream both in your mind and in reality. When we use our minds in this way, we automatically look for and act upon opportunities that allow our dreams to become our reality. This is mindflight.
This week, focus on your inner voice. This is the voice that, as you are probably aware, can be critical at times – we can be our own harshest judge. Each day this week focus your awareness on how your inner voice speaks to you. What does it say if you make a mistake or forget to do something? What does it say if you are preparing for an important event or day at work? Is it supportive or critical? Does it knock your confidence?
Listen to your inner voice and then shine some compassion on yourself. It can help to think of your best friend, sister, son or daughter who may have made a similar mistake to you. Would you speak to them in a critical way or would you show some compassion and understanding? It is important to show compassion and understanding to yourself. The kinder we are to ourselves, the kinder we are to the ones we love. Self compassion is essential.
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Why does it often take a tragedy for people to do what they really want to do?
